Of Dobes and Other Idiocies
by Kida-san
Summary: In which I screw up one the best thing in my life and Naruto deals with the consequences. Oh well, at least there's always Prom. AU SasuNaru


___A/N: Kida here! -peers around fearfully- So... this might seem a little, erm... different? Yes, different. But anyway, I know I haven't updated Forsaken Memories in about forever, but I couldn't help it! This is making me write it! It's only going to be a two-shot, though. It was originally just going to be a single chapter, but ah well. It seems to need two, ha ha. So... enjoy? Heh._

_Additional A/N: Thank you so, so much Greyspell for reminding me of something very very important! I'd meant to say that this fic was inspired (as in, very similar to but not quite the same as) by the doujinshi Forbidden Love by Anauchiha on dA, because that doujinshi = 3 and everyone should go read it. Like, now. So this wasn't intended to be plagiarism, I swear, I just completely forgot to add this little note. Heh._

Disclaimer: I own nothing. D:

I was going to murder my best friend. Which was annoying in itself, because my older brother always said that I would- he said it was in the Uchiha blood. I told him to fuck off at the time, of course, but what he said stuck with me. What he says always does. But now, I was practically ready to crawl home, begging his forgiveness for ever doubting his undying wisdom as long as I could kill the blond idiot first. Why?

Because he wouldn't quit talking about the damned Prom.

All I'd heard for the past week, for seven long days, was "I'm going to wear this tux-ttebayou!" and "Sakura-chan has a super-pretty dress- she showed me already, Sasuke! She's going to look super-cute!" And it was constant- when we met (to argue, of course) at the entrance of Konoha High School in the morning, at lunch when he and his cronies (Shikamaru, Kiba, Gaara, and Lee) all sat with me, rousting a few of the girls that always crowded the table were I sat. Not that I actually talk- they do plenty of that themselves. Stupid girls never fail to give me a headache. Sakura and Ino were the worst, but there were plenty of others at the school that would jump for the chance to sit with me for the apparently holy half-hour we have to eat. They were talking about prom too, but I only had to listen to their chatter during lunch. There was only one dobe who consistently followed me home, and today was no exception. And that's what I was going to kill him.

"And that's when Sakura-chan said-"

"Dobe." I interrupted. "Shut up." Naruto glared at me, and I fixed him with a glare of my own. Predictably, he backed down first.

"You're such a Teme." He pouted, jutting out his lower lip. I looked away and rolled my eyes. I couldn't listen to much more of this. And yet he continued talking anyway, despite my earlier warning. "Oh yeah, Teme, I finally heard what the theme is for prom! It's going to be a masked ball! It'll be romantic, don't you think? Oh wait, I forgot, that icicle makes romance painful for you, doesn't it?" He teased, laughing needlessly loudly. For some reason Naruto has decided I have an icicle shoved up my ass, though Kami knows why. Apparently it explains my "asshole-ish behavior' as he puts it.

"Hn." Was my only response- something I knew Naruto hated. But we had gotten to my house- in a sense. I paused at the gates outside and Naruto furiously punched in the passcode needed to get inside on the keypad attached to the brick wall next to the gates. He'd memorized it years ago. He started to make his way inside, but I stopped him with a yank on a lock of untamable blond hair. "You're not coming inside."

I expected Naruto to growl at me (he does that- frequently) or holler something (probably teme) or even throw a punch. But he didn't, which was my first surprise. The second followed immediately. "All right then, I'll go see what accessories Sakura-chan is going to wear, she promised to show me anyway." And with a wave he was off, running as fast as he could in anticipation of seeing his beloved Sakura. I paused for a moment. Since when had he and Sakura gotten so close? I mean, I thought she hated him? She used to. Apparently now they were sharing tips on accessories like a bunch of damn girls. Sakura had an excuse (as she was a girl) but Naruto? What the hell was he thinking?

Giving a little displeased snort, I turned and walked up the driveway that led to my house. It was pretty typical for the type of residence it was- tree-lined driveway, brick house, two floors each with three wings (the center, east, and west), and a front entrance held up by four white columns.

This was probably the main reason the girls in my class wouldn't leave me alone- my family's money. Uchiha Corp was one of the biggest and more profitable businesses in all of Konoha, except for maybe Hyuuga Enterprises. Hinata Hyuuga was supposed to inherit it from her father, being the oldest of his two children (apparently Neji, her cousin, didn't count) but she was useless in business. The girl was too quiet, too nervous, to be a shrewd, cunning businesswoman. But I was just perfect for the job, at least according to my father. He'd skipped over his oldest, my brother Itachi, for me and apparently that meant I had no choice in the matter in his eyes. I hadn't told my parents that I didn't care yet, but I think they both suspected. It wasn't like I tried to hide my disinterest exactly, but actually going out and saying that I didn't care…

Well, it'd start a miniature Uchiha war. So I hadn't said anything. Yet. Maybe I'd wait until the end of Senior year. Of course, it wasn't like my father was ever available. No, he was always in his study in the east wing of the first floor, which was my first stop upon entering the house. It was tradition- I'd go to my father's study, he'd make sure my day was up to his satisfaction, and I'd lie my ass off. Pretty simple. So I knocked on the mahogany door (we have a lot of those in the Uchiha manor), waiting for the sharp "Enter" that came a second later to enter the room. Father was sitting at his desk, as usual, typing something on his laptop (this was his business one, his personal one was upstairs). So I looked around for a moment, my gaze passing over the bookshelves that lined the walls, all full of finance and business books, the dark red rug in the middle of the floor, the brick fireplace (that was never lit) on the back wall. Just like always.

"Sasuke." The voice cut through my meandering thoughts.

"I'm home from school, Father." I responded.

"And your Physics test?" Asked my father. Apparently because my grades were good (excellent, actually) I was supposed to get high marks on every test I took, no matter what subject.

"I got an A." As usual (and actually not a lie).

"Good. And you're going upstairs to study until dinner?" He wanted to make sure.

"Yes, Father." I replied- a blatant lie this time.

"Good." He said again, his tone dismissive this time. As he turned his attention back to his computer I physically turned and made my way out the door. I'd fulfilled all familial requirements- at least for a few hours. I barely noticed the familiar deadened feeling this house always gave me, thinking instead of the one subject I'd been trying to avoid all week: prom. I'd turned down several invitations already, and word had gotten out that the anti-social Sasuke Uchiha wasn't even going. But Naruto _was_. I wasn't normally a scheming type of person (I rarely, if ever, need to go that far), but maybe… just maybe...

What if I _did_ accept one of the invitations?

I considered this as I climbed the stairs to the second floor, as I absently made my way down the hallway and into my bedroom (the last door on the right), and as I lay on my bed- a monster that took up a fourth of my considerably sized room with navy blue sheets. There was, I mused, no reason why I shouldn't attend my Senior Prom. It was a once-in-a-lifetime event, a culmination of high school social life.

And, if I was lucky (miraculous), Naruto would get jealous. For a few moments I entertained the idea of an angry Naruto punching a nondescript girl hanging on my arm to make her let go and fiercely kissing me.

That's right, I wanted my best friend. Even though he's a stupid dobe, even though he's a guy. It wasn't my choice- had I been asked, I'd have laughed out loud. But no one had asked my opinion on the matter- it had just hit me one day a few years ago. Naruto and I were friends only in the loosest sense, and we fought all the time (not that this has changed). After school one spring afternoon during my freshman year Naruto and I were fighting in the field across from our high school. Since we weren't in the school building (and because the football team hadn't emerged for practice) I knew no one would bother us for a while or step in to stop the fight. It was pretty even, annoyingly enough. Naruto and I have always been nearly equal in terms of speed and strength, so a conclusive end to any of these battles was unlikely.

But this time Naruto got lucky.

I was already off-balance, and with a well-aimed shove I toppled gracelessly to the ground. Naruto followed a second later, pinning my wrists with his hands and my legs with his knees. And, of course, one of his knees just had to press at an annoyingly sensitive part of my anatomy. As an Uchiha I wasn't about to let my body betray me- all my thoughts (those that were left, anyway) rallied around the need to get Naruto off me before he noticed anything. With few options left to me, I took the most efficient: I kneed him in the balls. Not exactly elegant, but it got the job done. Naruto was off me in an instant, curled up pathetically. I sat up, working to regulate my breathing as I watched the blonde writhe unhappily and knew that something had changed.

I knew what had happened, but as I so often do- I ignored it. Or, at least, tried to- but Naruto is… well, an irritatingly physical person. Normally I didn't allow people to touch me- it's a pet peeve of mine. So people eventually learn not to get close. Naruto, however, can't manage to learn anything. I'm sure he never even noticed how I keep a certain distance from people- we started fighting (normally intolerable physical contact) just a few weeks into our freshman year, and as the nature of our relationship changed (from rivals to friends) so too did the contact. We still fought, but it was for fun, not because I'd pissed Naruto off. But it was more than that. It was Naruto following me back to my house and looking at magazines while perched on my back. It was him slinging his arm over my shoulders when we'd walk somewhere. Things like that.

I didn't appreciate any of this at first. The sudden influx of human contact where there had previously been very little (if you haven't figured it out, my family's not particularly huggy) was foreign, even a bit alarming. But as time went by I got more and more used to the Dobe's constant presence, which had gotten me into the predicament I was currently facing.

I was an Uchiha, I'd man up to the problem (albeit not out loud)- I'd gotten to the point where I craved that presence. It had somehow become a vital part of my existence, which of course meant that it had been taken away from me. Freaking story of my life.

Hence my fantasizing. It was my mind, and I could imagine whatever the hell I wanted to. And, I have to admit, I liked my plan. It was simple, and certainly not foolproof, but it was the best I had. If Naruto got jealous, there was hope. If not, I'd give up this… whatever this was. It would be easy. But Prom first.

Now the problem was who to take as my date. There were plenty of girls at school who would agree in a heartbeat, but I knew I wouldn't be able to tolerate any of them for any length of time, much less all night. Unless…

An almost feral grin spread across my face. This was perfect. In a brilliant stroke of inspiration, I knew exactly what I needed to get Naruto's attention. I just had to wait until tomorrow afternoon.

……………………

Which, of course, seemed to take forever to arrive. Dinner was a lengthy affair, with my parents chatting idly as they ate, my brother and I silent as was usual. Well, for me anyway. The rest of the evening I spent actually working on my homework (little had gotten done before dinner due to, erm, distractions). Then the school day dragged on for what seemed to be an eternity- even lunch, the only time of day when I could actually talk (or, more accurately, listen) to Naruto (not including his frequent interruptions in class). Step one of my plan: tell Naruto to wait for me by the entrance to the school. This I did during lunch, and the idiot quickly agreed. This wasn't too different from our usual behavior, except I usually didn't ask him to wait for me- he just always did.

Finally the bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. I worked to keep my face controlled as I sauntered (yes, sauntered) over to Sakura's desk. "Sakura." This got her attention. The pink-haired girl smiled widely up at me as she promptly forgot to continue packing her things.

"Hi, Sasuke!" She chirped. I never had appreciated Sakura's… perkyness.

"Follow me." I told her, not bothering to say anything else. Sakura looked confused, but nodded, as I knew she would. She was naïve- always had been. Another thing I didn't appreciate about her. But she knew none of this, so she was happy to walk at my side (Naruto's place, came the thought unbidden to my mind) down the staircase and out to the courtyard littered with tables where we could eat lunch in good weather which filled up the space that had been left open due to the U-shape of the school building. Sakura glanced at me curiously, obviously wondering what it was that I wanted. It wasn't as if I'd even approached her often (I'd barely spoken to her before, not that this ever stopped her from talking to me. I took a slightly deeper breath than was necessary, and met her gaze.

"Go to the prom with me." It was less of an invitation and more of a demand, but oh well. I studied her face, watching for any signs of… well, I wasn't sure exactly. But emotions flashed across her face too quickly for me to determine what they were exactly, so I had to wait for the few seconds it took her to find her voice again.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke, I can't. I'm going with Naruto, you know that."

My eyes narrowed, but Sakura continued to look apologetic. "You don't like me then? I thought you did- my mistake." And I turned away from her, but before I could take a step she called my name. Keeping my face carefully blank, I turned back to her, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

"It's… not that! But-"

That was all I needed to hear- before she could even finish I strode forward and kissed her. For a single moment I could almost imagine that Naruto's were the lips against mine, but that little fantasy burst rudely as I felt a sharp slap against my cheek. I watched, mute, as Sakura stormed off, fuming. Never in my life had an endeavor failed so entirely. But, of course, that wasn't all. Not more than, oh, three or four seconds later, I heard an almost animalistic roar from behind me. I swung around to face the unknown attacker, but I was met with a fist to my jaw. I toppled over, my balance destroyed by the force of the punch.

My onyx gaze met furious blue, and I was again left speechless. Never had those eyes looked so angry- so _cold_. I could hear Naruto breathing heavily as he stood over me, but all I could see was burning (yet also frozen?) blue. It took several seconds before I could tear my eyes away, and as if the movement had broken some spell, the instant my gaze shifted Naruto was in motion again. He hauled me up by the front of my shirt, still glaring.

"How could you- teme! Is that why you don't want me going to Prom with her? Because you want her now?" He snarled. Something in me snapped upon hearing his authoritative tone and I slapped his hands away, fixing Naruto with my iciest glare, arms crossed over my chest.

"You don't know anything, dobe. Just go back to your girlfriend- she probably wants to cry on your shoulder." I hissed, then snorted haughtily. "That, or hit you. I've spent as much time with idiots as I can stand in one day." My glare morphed into a smirk as I strode purposefully away from the boy who had been my best friend, ignoring (or trying to, anyway) a last should of "Good! Stay out of my life!"

Internally, I was… hurt. Strange. It hurt to hear him tell me to stay away with that voice… so hurt… I'd hurt him with that 'kiss', that much was obvious. The dobe never was good at controlling his emotions. He was unhappy, and it was... hell, all my fault. He would go to Sakura now and they would cry together like only the two of them could, I was sure. That was just how Naruto was- whatever emotions he felt, he showed, no matter who saw. Whether he was hollering in annoyance or crying or grinning so broadly it shouldn't be physically possible. I wasn't sure if this was weakness or strength. Anyone could find his weaknesses, this I knew.

No one was allowed to see my weaknesses. It was… well, an Uchiha thing- but a lesson that I'd always believed had served me well. It kept me moving, though my destination was a mystery, even to me. I didn't know. I didn't care. At that time, I didn't care about anything. I didn't care about the streets beneath my feet or where they were taking me. And I especially didn't even care about Naruto, the fucking moron. He was worthless, I reminded myself. I don't know how long I walked in a haze of apathy but I somehow wasn't surprised to find myself at Karin Makoto's house. I blinked once, taking in the sizable farmhouse which barely managed to not look out of place in the suburb as I wondered what I was doing here, before the familiar stoic mask fell over my features. I strode toward the oak door and rapped three times. I had to wait only a few moments before Karin herself answered the door and as she stared at me, attempting to process what was going on, I swear her glasses slipped down her nose.

"Hello, Karin." I said, amused.

"S-Sasuke! Hi!" She squawked. Apparently that was all she could get out.

"Do you have a date to the prom?" I asked, blunt as usual, voice nearly toneless. Karin let out a squeak and nervously pushed her glasses back up her nose.

"Not at all- not yet. Why, were you thinking of going, Sasuke-kun?" Hn, I'd been wondering when I'd start hearing 'Sasuke-kun' again. And now Karin was smiling at me. Ugh. But I forced a (barely visible) smile in return.

"If you go with me." Hearing this, Karin squeaked again. Honestly.

"I'd love to!" She gushed. "I'll have to get a new dress, some shoes, and-"

"I'll pick you up Friday at 6." I quickly interrupted, turning and heading down the front walk, raising one hand in a lazy/dismissive wave as I headed (fled) home.


End file.
